Relationship Advice- Have I fallen in love: Always thinking about her, if I don’t see her then I feel uneasy, is this love or just attraction?

Question- I am a B.Sc second year student. I am very good friends with a girl from my class. We sit together and study and also share our personal things. We also go out together on weekends. For some time now, I have been feeling that I have started having different kinds of feelings for her. You feel happy as soon as you see him, but if you don’t talk to him you start feeling uneasy. I often think about him. But I can’t understand whether it’s true love or just attraction. How do I understand my feelings and what should I do in this situation? Expert: Dr. Jaya Sukul, Clinical Psychologist, Noida Answer- You are at that stage of life where emotions are very intense. At this age, it is very natural to be attracted towards someone, think about that person all the time and feel restless. It is good that you are aware of your feelings and want to understand them before taking any hasty decision. Let us now try to solve your confusion. Difference between love and attraction: There is a thin line between love and attraction, both give a feeling of butterflies in the stomach. However, their meanings are slightly different. Attraction usually depends on external things. Like look, style, way of talking, laughter or any special talent. This happens very fast and at times very intense, but it is not necessarily sustainable. Love is a deep feeling, which develops over time. It does not depend only on external beauty. It comes from accepting a person’s thoughts, his nature, his goodness and shortcomings. Love has permanence and often lasts a long time. Understand the difference between the two graphically – is it love or attraction? To gauge the depth of your feelings, ask yourself some questions and answer them honestly. This is not a psychological scientific test. This question is only so that you can ask yourself and understand whether what you are feeling is love or attraction. Why comparison between love and attraction? Generally people consider attraction as ‘lesser’ and love as ‘greater’. But the reality is that many times deep love starts with a small attraction. So don’t judge your feelings. Why the hurry to reach conclusions? Feel what is there in this moment, you are only 21 years old. This is the time to build a career and understand yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself by labeling a relationship as ‘love’ so soon. Feel what is there at this moment. Friendship is very precious. It is possible that this rapport between the two of you may deepen with time and naturally turn into love. It is also possible that this relationship remains only a good friendship. Whatever happens, let it happen naturally. Don’t ‘chase’ anything or try to achieve it by force. Along with this, you also need to understand that love is not what is often read in books. Love is not what romantic books tell us. In films and books, love is often shown as separation, yearning, restlessness and madness. Whereas in real life the parameters of love should be absolutely basic. Love is not something that makes you weak or insecure. Know about love in graphic – Whenever you feel love, ask yourself this question. Whenever there is confusion in life whether it is love or not, ask yourself only one question – “When I am with her, how do I feel about myself?” Final advice: For now, just enjoy your friendship. Get to know each other better. Let time take its course. If it is true love, it will stand the test of time and you will automatically get the answer. Don’t rush, enjoy the journey. …………… Also read this news Relationship Advice- Partner flirts with girls on Facebook: When I say something, he says, ‘You are insecure,’ is this cheating? In the era before the internet and social media, the definition of ‘cheating’ was different. At that time cheating meant only one thing – physical relationship with a third person. But today a large part of life is spent on mobile. A lot of our conversations, connections, love and attraction are actually happening on our digital screens. Read further…